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THE BEGINNINGS


I have long since wondered about the things of life, the many questions one asks themselves at least several times in their life here on earth. What is the purpose of my being here? Why things are the way they are etc. I was waiting for a huge sign from God to let me know of my worth, as most crazy humans do. But looking back now, I am beginning to realize I HAVE had a huge sign from God about my worth, I just missed it with my clouded human eyes because I was looking at myself. You may be wondering what all of this has to do with a photographer in Burlington, NC but I am not defined by my career, rather it is defined by me, and by letting myself be transparent and honest with you and myself, you can better understand my heart, who I am and where my art comes from. So for the sake of keeping things fun and lighthearted, I shall title this section of my page as The Odyssey, defined by Webster as...

"A long wandering or voyage usually marked by many changes of fortune and an intellectual or spiritual wandering of quest."

MY PSALMS

"The most valuable thing the Psalms do for me is to express the same delight in God which made David dance." - C.S. Lewis
Last November I was reading about King David and it struck me that apart from all his sin he was still a man after God's own heart. I asked myself what was it that set him apart from every other Bible Greats, what made him so different even with his sin that the Lord would give him the title as being A man after God's own heart?

I believe it to be because David was constantly in some form of worship and praise. The Lord was never far from his thoughts and his heart was trained to be in constant worship to the Lord. That is my heart's desire in this life. Not as an act of submission for an end result but to truly love the Lord so much that my heart finds pleasure in worshiping Him with praise and adoration. So I began to ask the Lord to give me a love for Him like David's and since that time my heart and mind have been constantly full of what I call Psalms, similar to what David wrote. 
 

C.S. Lewis had this to say about Psalms in his book,

Reflections on the Psalms.

"What must be said … is that the Psalms are poems, and poems intended to be sung: not doctrinal treatises, nor even sermons. … Most emphatically the Psalms must be read as poems; as lyrics, with all the licenses and all the formalities, the hyperboles, the emotional rather than logical connections, which are proper to lyric poetry. They must be read as poems if they are to be understood; no less than French must be read as French or English as English. Otherwise we shall miss what is in them and think we see what is not."
Lately I have been involved in helping a friend and kindred spirit who is in the music industry on a few projects she has in the works which has brought worship and praise even more so to the forefront of my mind. She is crazy talented with music and songwriting and now seems directed towards everything worship which is probably why we connect and work so well together. I wont go into further detail so as not to spoil the surprise but the things that are coming are going to be amazing and your heart will be blessed. You can check out her music and website HERE

I write these not to only bless my own heart but to bless my Father's heart, and in some small way I hope they will bless your heart as well.
 

Chapter 1

1.       You oh Lord, know me in the secret places of my heart, from its depths come praise of your goodness.

2.       In the very midst of my soul you are there. To you alone do I worship and bear my foolish heart.

3.       Oh Lord, how long will you turn your face from me? How long will you not heed my prayers?

4.       Despair fills my body like poison and permeates my soul like cancer.

5.       Hear my cries oh God, rescuer of my soul.

6.       Deliver me from this pit of lies. My heart cries out in desperation. Deliver me from my troubles.

7.       Out of the ashes of my broken heart, you alone can comfort me like no other.

8.       When troubles come I will run to you. You are my deliverer, defender of my soul.

9.       No harm will come to me because of your great mercy. I am steadfast in your unending love.

10.    You are my kinsman redeemer, for I am bought with a price more precious than gold or silver.

11.     When my heart aches you are there to comfort me, when my heart cries out you are there to heal me. Even to the depths of my soul you are there. There is no life apart from you, oh God.

12.   I will lift up my weary head and praise you in spite of my troubles. My hands raise to you without effort. You alone are my salvation.

13.   In the still of the night my heart communes with you. My thoughts are never far from you, oh Lord. You bring living waters to my dry and thirsty soul.

14.   You steady and calm my restless heart; you whisper words of comfort and of your great love.

15.   You alone are the keeper of my heart, the one who knows my inner most thoughts, my truest desires and my deepest sorrows.

16.   I will lift up my hands to you oh God, maker of all things. Within you is life. Everything is made anew through you.

17.   Flowers awake from their winter slumber at your voice. Trees bud and flourish at your command. You alone are mighty and deserving of all praise.

18.   Like a rush of wind I feel your presence in all things. I see you in the beauty of the earth and sea, the might of your ways in your creation. It draws me to worship.

19.   Yeshua, we worship and adore you. You are my healer. You are my provider. In you alone can I trust with my soul.

20.   In times of trouble I run to you for shelter. In your shadow I will seek refuge. You are a mighty defender of your people. You alone will I forever praise.

21.   In the midst of my infirmities I will praise you. In the midst of my afflictions I will lift your name on high.

22.   Most wonderful is your name oh God.

23.   The praises of your people are of a beautiful fragrance. A sweet smelling savor in which you take great delight.

24.   In the cool of the night my lips whisper of your goodness and the abundance of your love. In the heat of the day my mouth brings forth songs of love and thanksgiving for your mighty works toward me.

25.   Oh how I envy the birds of the air, to be close to you oh Lord. My praises soar on the wind to reach your ear. I desire to be as King David, a man after your own heart.

26.   Unto you oh Lord, does my heart cry out. You turn a listening ear to my pleas.

27.   In the midst of my troubles you deliver me from all harm.

28.   Your tender mercies are new every morning and your grace falls like rain with every need.

29.   I desire to bless your heart and sing praise worth unto your name.

30.   In you alone do I trust; in you alone my heart rests.

 

Chapter 2

1.       Yeshua, you know my sorrows. You know the quickening of my heart. You surround me in this lonely darkness and comfort me with your steadfast love.

2.       Your understanding is life to my veins and your comfort compares to none.

3.       My wayward heart causes great pain and yet you do not judge, your great compassion for me is deeper than an ocean, yea deeper still than the darkest sea.

4.       In my depths I will praise you. My heart calls out to you to draw near to me. In the midst of darkness I will praise you.

5.       You are my redeemer. My rescuer from dangers and trouble.

6.       I pour out my praise to you like offerings. Like a sweet smelling savor they rise from the earth.

7.       Run to my rescue with haste. Defend me from all harm. Your strong arm is my security and your shield is my protection.

8.       Sing praises unto the Lord oh my soul. Bring praise unto His name. Proclaim His holiness to all nations.

9.       You oh Lord, are my salvation. In you I find my rest and peace. Your justice is in your right hand and your gentleness is in your left.

10.     Blessed is your name Oh God. We lift up our praises to you in thanksgiving for your mercies.

11.     In You alone oh Lord, do I boast. To many do I tell of your goodness.

12.     Your wonderful works flow like the rivers and your blessings as numerous as the rain.

13.    Take this heart of clay oh God, and mold it into a thing of beauty. Take this earthen heart, where the weeds grow wild and the brambles abound and tend it to grow towards your light, into a pale reflection of your own heart oh Lord.

14.    You are faithful to restore what the locusts have eaten.

15.    You have brought me to a place where I can rest in your love for me oh God. My soul is at peace within your love, in the midst of a troublesome world. I have comfort in your arms.

16.   Nothing can harm me. I am perfectly protected.

Chapter 3

1.       Your love comes pouring out like a flood to soothe my angry and broken heart. To heal my deepest wounds and greatest hurts like a salve, binding together what has separated and broken.

2.       It shines like hope in the darkness, a promise of comfort and protection in a place of chaos and great evil.

3.       The Lord is close to the brokenhearted. He is our comforter and divine healer.

4.      At my darkest you love me still. At my very worst I am still loved.

5.      My heart quickens at your presence, you are life to my bones and breath to my lungs.

6.      Only you know the sorrows of my secret heart.

7.      I lift my heart to you in sorrow, only you can mend the broken pieces.

8.      Bring me to the end of myself, where I am no more, there is only you.